


Love Will Not Break Your Heart

by joidianne4eva



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 18:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3578946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joidianne4eva/pseuds/joidianne4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You don’t get to just lay there when we need you. They don’t even know if you’re gonna wake up but you’d better fuckin’…”</p>
<p>Exhaling, Eggsy rose from his seat, casting one last glance at Harry’s still form. </p>
<p>“You know that guy on 'The Walking Dead' got it right. I might be the one walking away but you’re the one who’s always fucking leaving.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Will Not Break Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd

The first time that Harry broke Eggsy’s heart he’d been eight years old.

He’d been eight and he didn’t understand why the man who’d given him his special medal hadn’t returned but the man had been a mate of his Dad’s and maybe if Eggsy became more like his Dad, the man would come back...unlike Eggsy’s dad.

Cause clearly the man was some super cool soldier and no soldier would have the time to deal with some whining pansy so Eggsy got better.

His grades climbed steadily and he helped his mam, ignoring the way that the smiles she sent his way were watery and a bit broken.

And at night when his mam had gone to bed, Eggsy took out the medal and turned it over in his hands because the man would definitely be back, wouldn’t he?

*O*

Harry hadn’t come back and Eggsy learned at the age of eight that the only person you could depend on was yourself.

*O*

The second time Harry broke Eggsy’s heart he was twenty five and sitting across a table from the man he’d built up in his head.

Then it had all come crashing down when Harry claimed that Eggsy’s dad would’ve been ashamed of him because Harry could sit in his fucking Ivory Tower and judge him all he wanted. He hadn’t been there when Eggsy had needed him, when he hadn’t been fast enough to outrun the taunts, or his mam’s habits…or Dean. Eggsy had the scars to prove that the only person who’d ever been there for him was _him._

Not even Harry’s offer or the fight, which looked like something Eggsy would see on the big screen, was enough to erase the ache in his chest so Eggsy sniped at him and he accepted his challenge because it made Harry look at him like he was something more than a liability.

*O*

The third time that Harry broke Eggsy’s heart, Eggsy was sure there was no coming back from it because Harry had just taken a bullet to the head and the ground was shifting beneath Eggsy’s feet.

Harry was dead and there wasn’t a fucking thing that Eggsy could do to change that not when the corruption had never just existed outside of Kingsman, it had been at their core the entire time and Harry had paid for it in blood but Arthur paid for it as well…Eggsy made sure of that.

*O*

The fourth time Harry broke Eggsy’s heart, he was lying in a hospital bed, with the faint beep of machines and the only thing that Harry had left behind was a note. A note with strict instructions that in the case of his demise Eggsy should take his place and Eggsy hadn’t cried while he read it as JB nosed at his feet. He didn’t cry because Harry wouldn’t have wanted that and after all the shit that Harry had been through the least Eggsy could do was live up to his expectations.

“So when’s he coming out of it then?” he asked Merlin, as he crushed the note in his fist.

Merlin cocked his head to the side, gaze flickering from Harry to Eggsy. “They’re not sure. The coma was induced but only partially. We’re waiting for the swelling in his brain to go down before we consider anything.”

“But he’s got a chance, yeah?” Eggsy inquired, meeting Merlin’s gaze and when the man didn’t flinch Eggsy let himself believe that it was because he was telling the truth and not because he’d been trained to lie by the best.

“The fact that he’s still breathing means he’s got a chance but it’s not going to be a quick fix,” Merlin responded and Eggsy nodded as he glanced back at Harry still form. “For what it’s worth, Eggsy, I’m sure he’d be proud.”

Eggsy shrugged as the words settled on his shoulders like a coat. “He’d better get off his arse and tell me that himself then,” he muttered and this time Merlin’s smile was much more genuine as he watched Eggsy stand. “You’ll tell me if he changes?”

“I’d have to….seeing as he’s listed you as his medical proxy.”

Eggsy could feel his brow hiking at that one but he kept his expression calm as he stared down at Harry.

He wondered if Harry Hart would ever stop fucking with him and he guessed the answer to that question was probably ‘no’.

*O*

Kingsman didn’t stop just because it had lost agents and the only time that Eggsy found to visit Harry was in between his missions.

He’d taken to writing up his report at Harry’s bedside and the fact that Merlin hadn’t called him on it when he found Eggsy passed out with his head on Harry’s bed said the man knew just how much Eggsy needed to see Harry, to have some reminder that he could do this…that he wasn’t just some fuck-up with good connections.

*O*

“I killed a kid today…” Eggsy stared at his hands as he spoke. He could still see the blood coating his fingers as he held the little girl in his arms. “Didn’t pull the trigger or nothin’ but I good as shot her in the fuckin’ chest myself. She couldn’t have been a day over four and now she’s in the ground ‘cause I wasn’t fast enough.”

Eggsy blinked as the image of Daisy’s face overlaid the little girl’s, in his memory.

“Could’ve been Daisy, you know? That could’ve been my little sister and I could’ve been some other wanker who’d probably walk away from that like it weren’t nothing…just collateral damage and all that shit but I’m not. You fuckin’ knew I wasn’t like that when I couldn’t even shoot JB. I don’t know what I’m doing, Harry, none of us do. The new recruits? I caught one of them crying his fuckin’ eyes out in the loo ‘cause he had to write his mam’s name on that body bag. We ain’t built for this shit and there’s no one here to help ‘cause Merlin’s too busy with keeping this place running and we’ve only got one other agent who didn’t get his head blown up. We’re breaking apart and I…” Eggsy trailed off and gritted his teeth.

“You don’t get to just lay there when we need you. They don’t even know if you’re gonna wake up but you’d better fuckin’…”

Exhaling, Eggsy rose from his seat, casting one last glance at Harry’s still form.

“You know that guy on The Walking Dead got it right. I might be the one walking away but you’re the one who’s always fucking leaving.”

*O*

Eggsy’s hands trembled when he touched Harry’s.

He’d managed two weeks away and then this…

“Heard you flat-lined today. You tryin’ to tell me something?” Eggsy asked, curling his fingers around Harry’s wrist, his thumb pressed tight against the other man’s skin so that he could feel the slow beat of Harry’s pulse.

“I never got to tell you about my first crush…” Eggsy started before snorting. “Didn’t get to tell you a lot of things but I wanted to tell you about this one. He was posh wanker, all stiff upper lip and polished shoes. He just kind of swanned in and out of my life but I couldn’t get him outta my head, you know? I didn’t even know it was a fucking crush until he was gone and when he didn’t come back I hated him for it. But you _did_ come back and you fixed my shit for me…you can’t just do that and then leave me high an’ dry.”

Eggsy’s eyes dropped to Harry’s hands.

“It ain’t a fucking crush no more, Harry and you don’t get to just walk away like this…you don’t get to…”

“ ‘m not leavin’,”

The words were a slurred whisper and Eggsy’s jaw clenched as tears filled his eyes but he didn’t look up…couldn’t because if this was a fucking hallucination.

“ ‘m not leavin’, Eggsy.”

This time Eggsy couldn’t help himself and when Harry’s eyes met his he didn’t even notice the sob that tore its way from his chest.

“You fuckin’ wanker, you absolute bastard,” he choked out and Harry just smiled even though it looked like the move was painful as his hand moved from Eggsy’s to tug at his shirt until Eggsy laid his head against Harry’s chest.

“ ‘m not goin’ anywhere.”

It sounded like a fucking promise and screw Harry for breaking Eggsy’s heart again.


End file.
